30 Days of Blogging, Day 2: My First Love

Oh Boy,
Well, as to the amount of people I've THOUGHT I've loved, well, there have been too many to count.
But then, they were pretty much all unrequited, and I was a lonely little boy, so...
Anyway, as to my first real love, or at least first person I ever had any real, mutual feelings for, that would have to be Samantha.
I really don't like to talk about it, as that is a part of my past I am trying to solidly put behind me, but I suppose, if it's the blogging subject of the day, well....
I met Samantha when I was 18 years old, about to turn 19, and my sister brought her home from school, along with Sam's boyfriend, and another girl.
We hackey-sacked, and she told me I was a, I think her exact words were "Poopy head"...
Eventually I came to look on her as a little sister, as all she had were sisters (except for a younger brother who, until recently, was a total jerk), and she needed a brother figure, but I didn't know at the time (although in retrospect it seems rather obvious) that she had a crush on me.
Basically her boyfriend at the time manipulated her into having sex with him, and she was sad and miserable and needed someone to talk to, so I was there for her, and she started to eat away at the emotional walls I had built up to deaden myself from the world.
She needed me so much, and I gave her all the support I could, and we developed a rather strong bond, but I still didn't let it go past being just really good friends; she was too young for me.
In time, though, we did end up together, and I had the misfortune of having that be during her rebellious years, when she was out experimenting with drugs and boys, and I was basically a "boyfriend" in little more than name.
Then she moved to Idaho, and I moved there with her, on two seperate occasions, but the first time I couldn't deal with the stress of her family (three younger siblings, who were a handful at the best of times), or the indecision of her parents (whether I was a good guy, to accept as part of the family, or a creep who was in love with their teenage daughter), so I moved back to foco.
The second time, I got a job, was doing my part around the house, and was fairly well-liked by all, but when we decided to finally take our relationship to the next level, everything degenerated, and her parents went back into hating me mode, delivering the ultimatum to either cease all physical relations with their daughter, or move out.
Knowing the first would never happen if I were there, I moved out.
We kept on long-distance, well, on and off, for a few years, but right when she was getting close to moving back out here, I got into a wreck, went to prison and she dumped me.
Then she got engaged, got pregnant, moved back to foco, and tried to redevelop a friendship with me, but it just couldn't work, as much as I wanted it to, and I have asked her to please not contact me anymore.
I can't believe I just went through all of that, I've tried so hard not to think about it...
pleh
Anyway, my first HEALTHY love is my amazingly sweethearted Sarah, the girl I intend to spend the rest of my life with, and who I will be reunited with again in just a few short days (well 27, but who's counting?).
I never knew love could be like this, having had such skewed perceptions of it based on my experience, and I am so thrilled by the intensity and completeness of my love for her.
And also by the fact that I know, unequivocally, the she feels the same for me, and that definitiveness of emotion is a more powerful force than any I have ever known in my life.
So I suppose you could say Sam was my first attempt at love, while Sarah is an indisputable success.
I love you baby.
Umm, yea
~Codaniel Von Johnson~